The “baggage” around sex and sexuality


A Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity discussion topic

Copyright 2007 by K. Ferlic,   All Rights Reserved

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The “baggage” around sex and sexuality

In exploring our creativity and/or pursuing a creative endeavor, feelings of sexuality can arise since sexuality is inherent to the creative process. Sexuality then becomes an issue because we are not free to response as necessary to the flow of energy we feel in the creative endeavor as a result of the baggage we carry around sexuality.

Background issues

There are two main creativity issues which involve the baggage around sex and sexuality. One is the free flow of our creative life energy into manifestation and its dissipation. The other is the awareness which lies in the feelings.

Whenever we engage in a creative endeavor the flow of energy that will manifest our creation enthuses our entire being. Whether we are open to feeling it and flowing with it is a separate issue. However, often that energy flowing to manifest our desired experience in enthusing our entire being can cause sexual feelings to arise. For large creative endeavor and recreating our life, large flows of energy will be required and we can expect sexual feelings to arise. Whether or not we act on the feelings and engage in sexual activities and whether or not we should engage sexuality is not the issue discussed here. The issue is whether or not the energy is free to flow into the desired creation or does the baggage we carry around sex and sexuality cause the energy to become diverted or thwarted rather than flowing into dissipation.

The second issue is in the awareness of what we feel. There is a clarity about what we need to do in life or with our life which comes in a knowing. The knowing is only accessible through feeling - the deepest feeling to which we can go. These feelings, unfortunately, arise and come through the body and lie beyond the types and kinds of feelings which can arise in sex. Consequently, most never see this knowing or use it because when the individual feels these feelings they tend to move toward engaging in sex thinking they are sexual feelings when they are not. The issue is not whether or not one engages in the sexuality feelings they have. The issue is whether or not the energy is allowed to freely flow into the fulfillment of the desires of the creative spirit what gives rise to such feelings. It is to get past sexuality to access the awareness that lies in the feeling. To do so is to be able to use the body as the tool that it is to access information as to how we need to live our life and to create a life worth living.

The reason why the feelings that provide the awareness about what we incarnated to do lies behind the types and kinds of feelings we get in sexuality is quite simply. What we incarnated to do is what brought us into life. It is what gives us life and a desire to create a life. In particular it is a life to have the types and kinds of experiences we incarnated to have. As this energy which brought us into the world enthuses our entire being creating the desired life, it is only natural it will enthuse our sexuality and give rise to sexual feeling to create life.

As a result of the “baggage” around sex, the sex tends to divert the attention and awareness of the individual in a way that usually keeps the individual from accessing the awareness and the knowing as to what we need to do in life in one way or another.

What is the “baggage” around sexuality?

The answer to the question, “what is the baggage around sex?” probably has as many answers as there are individuals in the world. From a creativity perspective and its impact and influence on our creative ability and creative power, the answers as to what is the “baggage” around sex is reflected in the following criteria. They can be used to gauge the extend of the baggage we carry around sex and sexuality by how close we can come or don’t come toward living these statements. Of course, the closer we can come to living as described here, the less baggage sexuality will have in influencing our creative ability and creative power. The less we come to living these statements, the more issues we will cause to interfere with, and divert our attention from achieving the creative endeavor and the flow of energy which enthuses our being and gives rise to the feelings of sexuality.

For any experience we have in creation/Creation or of creation/Creation, the goal is total freedom. It is to be like the wind - coming with nothing (no attachments or expectations) and leaving with nothing (no attachments or expectations). It is to be free to be in the spontaneously and innocent childlike play of exploration and discovery of ourselves and the world we experience.

In relation to love, love in the creativity perspective is to create the space for the creation to freely grow and unfold true to itself and to creatively shape shift to become whatever is necessary to nurture the creation. It is to give what the creation needs and not what mind wants or thinks is needed.

Relative to sexuality it is to see the life and flow of energy created within the other individual, within oneself, and the life that is created between the individuals as the creation. All three need to be given the space and nurtured so each unfolds true to itself. Creation is magical enough for this to occur if our mind allows it. Besides, we cannot give what we do not have. If we do not give the space and nurture the life that is created within us as a result of the sexuality, we will be unable to understand and properly give the space and nurture the life which is created within the other individual as a result of the sexuality and life created between the individuals, the offspring of the sexuality at whatever level of being it is created.

Baggage in relation to creativity and any experience of creation/Creation refers to anything that does not allow for the free and unfettered expression of our creative spirit and to dance between the desires and wants of the mind and the total surrender to the flow of our creative life energy that enthuses our being to fulfill the wants of the heart. Relative to sexuality, the baggage is anything that does not, or will not, allow the energy to freely flow into dissipation for the intended experience.

The issue we face is understanding what is actually giving rise to the sexuality we feel and what is the intended experience. Sexuality is literally and figuratively about bringing life, a flow of energy, into our being and into the world whether it be spiritual, mental, emotional or physical life. Talking about all that could be baggage is too large a discussion. It is easier to understanding the baggage one carries by looking at “baggage free” criterial for expression of the energy that arises to one degree or another in the form of sexuality and/or sexual feelings.

When and if, the individual is free to engage in sex in the spontaneous and innocence of childlike play of exploration and discovery being like the wind, coming with no attachments and expectations and leaving with no attachments and expectations coupled with the intention to give total freedom to the individual with whom they engage and for the energy to flow freely in that individual in all ways, there will be no baggage around the sex/sexuality. Such an experience is exquisite beyond belief. However, giving such freedom to the other individual is very hard to do because our desire for pleasure and control tend to keep this from happening The exquisiteness of the experience of such freedom in the flow of our creative life energy causes the ego to want to own and control it and keep it for itself. This, in turn, kills the freedom.

Another way to look at the baggage around sex is to realize there is not a person on the face of the with whom we could not have a intimate, passion love affair at any and/or every level of our being, spiritually, mentally, emotionally and/or physically. All that stands in the way is our own mind. The question is, “What does not allow us to have such a relationship?”

A third way to look to see if we carry baggage around sex and if our mind is are trying to exert control is whether or not we are overwhelmed and are able to trust the creative process. In seeing and feeling the fullness of what is within our being that flows from the source/Source as a result of the experiences we have had, we cannot deny that to another. We feel so full of life and abundance all we desire to do is create the space for the other to experience the same inner joy, satisfaction and contentment. It is much the way a young child passionately desire to share what they have learned with another. They desire to give it freely and willing so that another also has it and can share in the thrill and excitement the child has found. This is our true nature. Our true nature is that of a spontaneous and innocent child discovering and explore itself and their world.

In this overwhelming feeling of abundance of life and energy, and as a result of it, we are free to tell our partner from the depth of our being and allow them to act as lead something equivalent to the following statement. “You have been the occasion for me to have the most exquisite joy and pleasure of life. I am so full of life and abundance within my being, that all I can do is share what is inside me with the world. If you are so lead, feel free to give to another what you have given me.” Or, do we try and control, own or otherwise try and keep captive the creative spirit of the other person in some way so that we have what we want when we want it refusing to share what we have found.

From the human perspective achieving what is required to become free from the types and kinds of baggage around sexually related experiences is close to impossible. But, nevertheless it is to look at these conditions as a criteria that will allows us to see what lies behind the feelings when the feelings originate from the intention for our life and whether or not we carry baggage that will interfere with the unfettered expression of the energy. What we need to do in, or with our life, and how we choose to act on any sexual feelings we have is our choice. The issues is whether or not our actions lead us to freedom or further and deeper entrapment by our mind and ego in its desires and attachments.

Two point do need to be made here. One is if the sexual experiences we have are not causing us to experience an exquisite joy and pleasure in life and feel so full of life and abundance that we are not lead to share what we found with others, then we can be assured there is some baggage we are carry that is not allowing us to be free. The second is, we do not have to have sex with another to share the life and abundance we have found. We only need to be willing to create the space for the free expression of their creative spirit. Their creative spirit in the freedom of a safe and secure space will lead them to the experiences they need to have to experience exquisite joy and please in life and a feeling of fullness of being and abundance. Similarly, in us being willing to create the space for the creative spirit of another to be free to express itself, we will give the same gift to ourselves. We will understand what we need to do to find the freedom to allow our creative spirit to freely express itself.

To explore the baggage we may be carrying around sexuality, we do not need to engage in any type or kind of sexuality activity. Completing something like the "Belief and thinking inventory on sexuality" is more than sufficient to begin to see the baggage that we are carrying. Or, we can simply watch the thoughts we have about issues of sex and sexuality and pull the string to explore the origins of those thoughts. They will tell us a lot about the beliefs we carry on the subject that is not allowing our creative life energy to freely dissipate.

A comment on “free” sex

In talking about the baggage of sex and sexuality some may interpret what is said here as free sex and the freedom to be promiscuous in the sex and sexuality. However, nothing is father from the truth. Energetically, sex is literally and figuratively about creating life both within and without. There is always an offspring of any joining and it can be spiritual, mental, emotional physical and/or any combination. But there is always an offspring. The flow of energy in the sexuality goes somewhere and will take on a life of its own. In that joining a part of each always goes into that offspring. The offspring is a creation, at whatever level of being it exists, and must be properly nourished. If that creation is not properly nourished, that part of us that has energetically gone into that offspring also dies and/or becomes damaged. How we experience that energetic death/damage depends on the awareness we possess about what we are doing.

To freely engage in sexuality without awareness of the offspring will cause our creative life energy to be bound in ways that we do not understand. To regain and reconstitute our creative ability and creative power it will take deep inner exploration to free the energy. This is one reason why it is so important to pull the string on the intentions and desires we hold to get the root of the desire or intention. We bind our energy at the deepest levels as to where our intention originates.

If we think sex is only about creating physical offspring and as long as we prevent the conception of physical offspring that there are no issues, we will be binding our creative life energy spiritually, mentally and emotionally in such a way we bind ourselves to being human and the human experience. We then become puzzled as to why we cannot access the depth and breadth of our creativity and desired experience. In doing so we will never experience the freedom of Heaven, the Kingdom of God or Nirvana here an now. This is why so many spiritual traditions talk about celibacy and the need to transcend the physical. But nothing is father from the truth. The issue is our attachments and those we carry with us unless we remove them. Our attachments arise as a result of our belief structure and how and what we think and believe about ourselves, any other and the world in which we find ourselves because of the experiences we have had.

The key is to understand the energy behind our sexuality and what is really giving rise to the energy flow which we feel in our bodies as sexual excitement. We then need to see how free the energy is flow to dissipation to manifest the desired experience of what is giving rise to the flow of energy. In this awareness, we can see how sexuality can be used as a tool for enlightenment and being to understand the creative tool that sexuality is. We may also being to understand how sexuality can be used in our creative endeavors and/or to explore the unknown.

Related topics
An awareness in what we feel
Discussion topics on creativity and sexuality
A bottom line about sex and our creativity
Sensual experience beyond sex

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