Social issues of sex and our creativity
A Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity discussion topic
Copyright 2008 by K. Ferlic, † All Rights Reserved
|RYUC Home Why free? Contact Links Programs/services Contributions|
Social issues of sex and our
What is provided here are some thoughts and consideration about our sexual preferences and issues relative to our creativity from where we may have arisen. In particular, how our society has influenced those preferences and issues and/or how the social perspective on sex impacts our creativity
What needs to be understood is that if sexuality exist in biological systems to ensure the survivability of the species and smell is what provides the best genetic mate, then everything other than smell that entices us is outside of the real biological function of sex. All of it is either a secondary sex characteristic that has evolved over time or individual or social preferences we developed for one reason or another. Relative to sexuality, our preferences may be based on past needs individually or socially that may have made sense at one time but now that bias only affects our current behavior to hold us captive in the past.
Additionally, in the discussion on "Some observations from nature about sex" it was stated the human brain as we know it is an extravagance. It was noted that comparison with other mammals show that they donít need the type and kind of brain developed by humans to survive rather well in the world. What resides in the human brain is the human capacity for decision making. But what is important here is that it has been the human preference for decisions making that caused it to develop into its the decision making process that it is. Relative to sex, our decision making has seemingly been directed in two ways - having sex and parenting the offspring.
Biologically, sex is extremely important to the human. Quite simply, those early human who took pleasure in sex and parenting ensured survival of the offspring. Those who didnít take pleasure in sex died out. Those who didnít take please in parenting the offspring of sex died out. Only those who took pleasure in both the sexuality and parenting survived. We have been bred to enjoy sex and enjoy parenting. Of the two, having sex and parenting, most would probably agree, given the difficulties one encounters in raising children, on the average, sex is more enjoyable than parenting and, of course is doesnít take as long.
The preference of the human being is to find pleasure and comfort and make oneís life easy. Humans tend to seek a life that is more pleasurable than work. Many of our human inventions are about making life easier and more pleasurable. So, it is not surprising there is more and more emphasis on the pleasurable aspects of sexuality and what we find pleasurable in life.
Although what we find appeasing and pleasurable has common characteristics, much of it is unique to the individual. What is common between individuals is usually what can be felt by, or in, the body. The body provides the commonality in what is found pleasurable. Otherwise, all beauty and what we find pleasurable and appealing, no matter what it is and what it is for or about, is a developed preference and a choice/judgment of our mind. The question with which we are faced is, "Are our preferences individual and truly reflective of our truth or are they enculturated and the preferences of our family and society of which we have been programmed?"
Relative to the evolved preferences, it needs to understand, for some of us, our desire to have children my be simply because we have come to think and believe that is what human are suppose to do. That is, to be a human being is to grow up, mature, have children and find some way of being in the world that enables us to survive until we die. To promulgate the human race and provide for its continuation, there is, of course, the need for some to have children. But that is not necessarily the role for all of us. Yet, if most of us were asked, "What does it mean to be a human being, most would probably include having children." Or, if they fail to mention it, it is only because they assume it is obvious that is what humans do. But it needs to be emphasized, that may not be the role for each of us as an individual.
We, as an individual point of consciousness that have been unfolding since the consciousness within, or behind, Creation shattered itself. We have been accumulating experience after experience and developing preference after preference. Many of these preferences have been carried over and are rolled into the intention for our life. As such, we will have preference for how we live life and what we find pleasurable that have no logical basis in our life or the world we inhabit. These preferences also may, or may not, be in alignment with the preferences of our family and our society. Only in exploring our truth and doing our own experiments are we going to understand the preferences that arise from the truth of our being.
It needs to be noted here is that what is said here is not permission to just go and have sex to explore our sexuality. Rather, it is about becoming mindful and aware to look inward to become aware of the preferences we have and pull the string on why that preference as opposed to any other. We need to remember, smell is what pulls us to the best genetic match. Anything else is an evolved or chosen preference. The question is, "Why do we have that preference as opposed to any other and how is that preference influencing our freedom to surrender to the flow of energy to create what we desire?"
If we do not explore our personal preferences as they arise from the truth of our being, we will default to the programming of our early care givers, our family and our society.
Whether we realize it or not, and most donít, there is the confused actions of our early care givers relative to the subject of sexuality which we tend to copy and mimic as role models. Our early care givers struggle with their personal preferences which arise from their truth, the programming of their family and the programming of their society. It does need to be noted here, depending on the age of our early care givers, the programming of our early care givers may be a generation or even two generations earlier that our current family structure and/or social norms.
As very young children, we pick up many of the attitudes, opinions and action of our early care givers as role models for what it means to be a male or female. That image and impression is often different than either what our family desires and/or our society would like us to believe. When looking at our sexual preferences, we must first look to see that we maybe running on an image given to us by our early care givers that we cannot find in our family preferences or our social preferences.
An example of this is what one man was quoted as saying about his idea of females and what was expected of them in life. It was a opinion not so much reflected in his family structure nor his social but that of an early care giver. "I never saw or dated a female as other than looking at them as a mate for creating offspring. I was simply programmed to see a female as someone to whom to have children. I never conceived of the idea or was taught the idea of a girl or woman just as a friend and someone with whom to share life and enjoy simply as another human being. Females were functionaries and performed a function. To share life with a female was unheard of in the world I grew up and to share life with a female and have sex as icing on the cake to share the joys of physical life and feeling was totally blasphemous. Sex, of course, as was the female, was to serve only one purpose - have children. My only role in life was to have children. It didnít matter what I did in life but I was expected to have children" Sadly, the truth of the matter is, that although sex is about creating physical or nonphysical life, it is about sharing and nurturing the life created between each individual in the most intimate and pleasurable ways at all levels of being throughout the life of the offspring, energetic or physical, created.
The family structure and influences are not just about the immediate family, nor is it just about the extended family of blood and/or legal relatives. Rather it is about the how the individual perceives sex and sexuality is related to how a male and a female create a structure around each other and/or raising any children that may be produced in that relationship. In this regard, there are a variety of ideas as to what a family is or should be and its relationship to sex. Some see sex only existing within a particular male-female relationship inside or outside of a state or religious condoned marriage. Others see marriage as structure within to raise children. Some see marriage as an approved social license to have sex. Some see the family structure and the role model for how a male and female are suppose to be with each other in the world. Here some see the female giving sex to hold a male. Some see the male and female owning each other and the otherís sexuality as a result of the relationship or the marriage.
The question with which we are faced relative to the family structure we see is whether or not the family relationship we see allows us to effectively use our sexuality as the creative tool that it is or does it somehow rob us of our creative power. Does our relationship with another allow each of us to expand into the infinity of our being and access our unlimited creativity or is the creative spirit within each of us somehow kept bound and captive by the relationship.
What needs to be realized here is what works for one may not work for another. We each need to know what serves and does serve the free expression of our creative spirit. Otherwise we will get ourselves into a relationship and structure that causes and pain and discomfort at some level of our being. That, in turn, will lead us to either leave the relationship/structure or find some way to suppress, numb or others deal with the pain we feel. For many the pain simply lies within as a deep anger and the individual not having a clue as to why the anger exists for they think they are living their life correctly.
Given the variety of cultures, social practices and evidence to find any type of society we wish, what is provided here are ideas that can be used to analyze how and what we believe about sex and sexuality and to being to pull the string to see from where do our beliefs arise. Also what is said here is not for or against any particular society or its practices. Examples can be found for whatever we want to believe about how a society should be run relative to sexuality. Some social structures have survived, others have died eons ago. There is no judgments on what a society encourages or doesnít encourage. The emphasis here is on each individual hold their creativity sacred and becoming aware as to whether or not the social beliefs do or donít allow one to access the creative ability and creative power to create what they desire.
What also needs to be realized, although we may leave a given society to live in a different society does not mean we leave behind our beliefs about sex and sexuality. We carry those with us and they will continue to bias us unless we become aware of their existence and how they are, or are not, allowing us to create what we desire. Again, there are no judgments on what we believe. The issue is does what we think and believe about sex and society allow for the free unfoldment of our creative spirit in the way it needs to unfold to have the experiences it incarnated to have. No body can tell us what that is. It is something we must learn to feel within our being and what we feel is controlled by our mind and what we think and believe.
First and foremost, social ideas about sex are based on what a society thinks and believe about what it means to be a male or female. What society or any individual thinks and believe about sex, being male and/or being female may have little relationship to the actual role of the masculine aspect and feminine aspect in the creative process other than how a male and female joint to create a child. That is, the masculine and feminine come together in some way to mix some aspect of their being to create a new life.
This is very important to realize. Many social structures do not acknowledge the existence of an inner masculine and an inner feminine which gets reflected externally and gives rise to our external relationships. Even less understand the need for both the inner masculine and inner feminine to mature and create an offspring within the individual that gets reflected externally as our charisma. For example, the right of passage of many ancient societies for a woman was menstruation. For a man, since there was no corresponding dynamic biological change, there were initiations, vision quests and the like. That is, the role of the female was defined by her ability to have children. The role of the male was determined by whatever society wanted it to be. Hence most societies have built their social structure around the baseline of the female bearing and caring for the offspring and the male serving whatever society holds sacred.
Society creates ways of beings and laws to honor what it holds sacred. In this regard, there are two set of social norms which have evolved. There are the norms of the secular world related to surviving in the world and obtaining what is held sacred in the physical world. Then there are the norms that are more religious and/or spiritual based reflecting what society, or at least a part of society, believes about the creative powers/Creative Powers of Creation and how to access them. Most religions look to some how find favor with the creative powers/Creative Powers of Creation to either find protection and safety in the physical world and/or address that aspect of being human that does not seem to human. Many religious and spiritual traditions looked to alleviate and remove pain and seek to find some place without suffering, without pain, and without the discomforts experienced in Physical Creation.
In the past, secular and religious/spiritual norms if not the same were very closely related. That is, religious and spiritual practice looked to access the creative powers/Creative Powers of Creation to gain favor for oneís life in the physical world. The norms for the society were based on what the teachers, elders, and leaders of the society thought and believed about what it means to be human and about Creation coupled with what the society held sacred. Particular ways of being in the world and practices were promulgated by the teachers, elders or leaders. Where those ways of being and practices were not followed, laws, rules and some type and kind of enforcement and punishment were created to force the society to move in a particular direction.
Sex and the issues involving sex and sexuality tend to be "regulatedí based on how the regulations do or donít help achieve the goals and beliefs espoused by the teachers, elders or leaders. In this regard, there has been a great variety as to what has been considered acceptable and not acceptable on a social level. But what is most important, whether we are willing to admit it or not, a society creates it rules by what it holds sacred either explicitly or implicitly as sacred. In this regard, there are laws that are pass but totally disregarded by the society. Similarly, there are unwritten laws that are considered sacred - things one just does or doesnít do. Similarly there are laws and norms that look good but are paid lip service. What a society does with its energy tells you what is sacred and valued, not the law, rules and norms that are created.
Social issues about sexuality tend to be aligned with the societyís concept of marriage and how it wants to structure itself into the future. In particular, they tend to be designed more around the care and feeding of the offspring, their education and subsequent inheritance. More recently they are being focused to control the spread of social diseases. Many societies look to the parents to feed and house the offspring but the state or church is responsible for the education of the children. One question that can be asked of any society is "Who educates an individual in that society on or about sex and sexuality and is what is taught what needs to be known?" Relative to this material, the question is, "Who educates an individual about sex and it relationship to the individualís creative power and creative ability and is what is taught what needs to be known?"
Sexuality is a powerful creative tool. It can be used in many different ways. It is the second most creative state of being and is probably the most creative state most individuals will ever enter. In this regard, it only makes sense for the teachers, elders, and leaders of any organization or society to decide how sex can and canít be used.
In addition is possible to both castrate the inner masculine and impregnate an individual with a dream that will control their life through how and what an individual is taught to believed. These methods have been used for centuries to control populations. Some have gone to the point of selective inbreeding and/or using marriage and offspring to control relationships between tribes and countries. The question we all have is do our beliefs and what we have come to believe about sex and sexuality castrate our inner masculine and have we been impregnated to live a life that is not our. Has our creative power been stolen from us and the sacredness of our creative spirit being violated and abused if not used and rendered a slave to some external authority. This is done more often than we realize especially in the modern world where sexual enticement are uses to give our creative life energy for some product, organization or wherever.
Two of the more extreme controls over the creative power of sexuality in the individual of a society or organization are the rules governing celibacy and marriage and why they exist. Sex is about creating new life both within oneself, the other and the world itself. Controlling how the energy of individuals is or is not mixed gives great power to the individual in charge to control the way a society or organization unfolds. In essence, it is selective breeding for one reason or another.
Similarly, culture displays of acceptable and non acceptable sexuality are a tool and mechanism used by, and within society, to foster the attraction a sexual partners in particular ways that influence the selection process. The more the individual is controlled, the less the creative spirit is free to express itself and the deeper the pain an individual will feel. Here again, unless the society recognizes there is this creative spirit desiring to have particular types and kinds of experiences and it is free to find and express them, the individual will experience a level of pain and frustration. That in turn, creates conditions for addictions and other types of behaviors in which the individual tries to numb, suppress and/or divert their attention from what they feel within their being. Often societies see their drug, prostitution, obesity, and other types of problems as individuals who cannot cope for one reason or another. Yet, the society never pays attention to how they may actually be encouraging the exact type and kind of behavior they wish to stop.
We all need to understand that by what we and society hold sacred, we force a selection of human attributes towards that ability. In allowing some to come out, other attributes are suppressed. Societies work well for individual who have the desire to move in the direction of what society holds sacred. Those who have other desires and interest tend to be suppressed and/or thwarted in their expression in some way. How big an issue it becomes totally depends on the level of pain the individuals encounter. As with everything, there is a balance. The individual needs to balance the needs of the mundane world and the needs of their own heart. Similarly a society must balance it needs and the needs of the individual in that society. The question isnít so much what a society desire as much as do they give the individual the space to balance their own heart between what society needs and wants and what the individual needs and wants.
From a creativity perspective, separation of spiritual and physical and putting sex with the physical rather than realizing energetically it crosses all boundaries is analogously, they are like the traditional concept of physical versus spiritual. They are seen as separate when in actuality they are interconnected in a way not obvious to our mind. As a result, as demonstrated by humanity, this control has created a great separation within itself. Humanity has held the spiritual as separate from the physical for millennia and has created a great divide in the soul of humanity and we as individuals play it out every day and we use most of the creative power of sexuality nonconsciously rather than consciously.